The Do's and Don'ts of bathroom Etiquette

I always poop and shower every morning right on time, at the same time everyday.always before I go to school. One day, I was hungover(went to Shortys the night before) and I overslept. so I was in a hurry and freaking out cause I was going to be late, and thats a big no-no in BEAUTY SCHOOL. so. I went straight into the bathroom and kinda forced myself to poop. keep telling to myself "c'mon, lets do this, we gotta go" and after kicking and pushing. finally something came out. nothing to fancy, kinda average. no big deal, so I jumped into the shower to start my routine. And Im in there all happy singin, dancing, shampooing my hair trying to be fast and all of a sudden..... a big gigantic fucking CRAMP!!! it was horrible, it totally made me bend over in pain. I didnt know what the fuck was going on. but then after the pain started to fade I realized, it was nothing more than a fart that got kinda confused and lost in the way out. so I let it out, cause you know, I kinda like the way my farts smell (vegan farts are silly) particuraly in the SHOWER,cause they just stay there like hoovering around you because of the density of the steam and blah blah. anyways. so I did. and it felt really good. it was one of those really long ones, kinda airy, more like a sigh, pretty deep. but here is the strange thing...at the end of it, something weird happened. I heard something strange something more like a *cough* and all of the sudden I looked down on my bathtub, in beetween my legs (and at this point I still have my hands on my head all lathered up) and theres NOTHING.then this is were it gets even freakier. I looked, to the SIDE of the bathtub and there it is... a quarter size, well maybe more like 2 nickels, a piece of poop!!! kinda like a hersheys kiss, sitting just chilling there. not being touched by the water. and here I am. FREAKING the FUCK out! what should I do?!?!?! my options are as follow: A ) Get out of the shower,all wet and my face full of shampoo, avoiding slippin' down and breaking my head, pick some paper towells, go back to the bathtub, pick it up, roll it up, and thorow it in the garbage. Or B ) Stay there, use my bare hand, pick up the tiny piece, get out of the shower, all wet and my face full of shampoo, avoiding slippin' down and breaking my head, get some paper towells, roll the fucker up and throw it away. and keep in mind this all happened in seconds. And Im late for school... the SOLUTION: I just stood there, looked at it. and then proceded to mush the shit out of it, with my FOOT, not my hand. until it kinda desintegrated,and the fucker went down the drain. But hey, I got to school on time! Ps Dont Judge me!